sirmarcus876

Things haven't been too bad lately. Katie is leaving in ten days. I am incredibly sad. But I am still having good days. I refuse to let my anger and hatred consume me. I got a new job at buffalo steak and sub on main street. I can't wait to start working so I can fucking pay everyone back that I've been borrowing money from. Hah. I am doing a lot better than I was earlier this year. I realized that I have more people that care about me then anyone that I know. My friends have been keeping me in high spirits and helping me stay positive. School is going well. I got an 82 on my first calc exam. I thought I did better, but im not complaining. I'm sure I'll be able to pull a B in that class. Its just very fast and challenging. I think i'm getting ready to quit my old band. My friend Steve and I just started something up last week. More like melodic hardcore(ex-Dead Hearts, For The Fallen Dreams, Remembering Never). Stuff like that, I think more people will be able to relate to this kind of music. Especially because they can actually interpret the lyrics. Ahaaa. That and deathcore is such a dead genre now. It is very difficult to get noticed in that. There are so many bands trying to make it in deathcore, it will yield no successful results. Not saying that I want to sell out, but I definitely want to go somewhere with my music. It is one of the few things in my life that I can always depend on.

Everyone acts so different around me. I'm really not a big fan of that. Simply because I don't know who my real friends are anymore. Sure, there are the few that will always be there for me. But I think that a lot of people only keep my around because i'm "Mark F from Myspace". Its aggravating. And I am so done with shitty friends. I'm so glad I took a summer class. I think I might take one every summer just to keep me busy. It really hasn't been that bad at all. It keeps my mind sharp, and from my destructive/depressing thoughts that I seem to always have lately. That and I actually understand math. For once in my life. Wow.

To update this thing. I'm always so caught up in everything. Always worrying about what I need to get done. Always stressing out about what needs to get done. I am done with school for a few weeks. I'm taking the time to sit back, relax, and catch up with my family. I've been spending a lot of time with my mom lately, its been really nice. I haven't had the time during the past few months. She is just as busy as I am. My band doesn't look like its going to work out anytime soon. That is probably why I have been so down lately. I've really been making an effort to get in touch with old friends. So far it has yielded some successful results. Katie is leaving soon, I really want someone to talk to when she isn't here. As bad as that sounds. Its not like I want to replace her, quite the contrary actually. I just don't want to go insane without seeing her. Who knows where she will be stationed, and who knows how much I'll be able to see her. I need a break. And I need to win the lottery. Fuck

disgusting. I cannot believe that I actually considered you a good friend of mine. I'm glad that you think its cool to make fun of mentally retarded people all day. Its not like my father is mentally ill or anything. You are the most ignorant human being that has ever lived.

should be good. I'm going to a local show at amvets later. It shall be a good time. Other than that I'll probably be doing a good deal of reading and relaxing. I have to finish nineteen eighty-four and I'm only halfway thru it. Its a good book, but I wasn't expecting to read it in two weeks. Ughhhhh. Im doing well in all of my classes. Well, except music theory. I'd say I have around a 3.2, which kind of pisses me off. Simply because I know if my music theory grade wasn't so terrible I would have at least a 3.5 . Its whatever though. Apparently everyone is failing, so I don't feel too bad about it. The kid next to me got a 2% on the last exam. Really? I just want school to be over. Even though I'll be going to summer school for an extra month, I just want a break. From everything.



And I just want a drummer.
Who I can actually depend on.
They don't seem to exist anymore.

want to feel like this anymore.
=/

FUCK
EVERYTHING

I get to hear the finished recordings
=]

Six page papers.
due tomorrow.
Fuck


I hate school.
I hate being stressed
and I LOVE the new cosmo!
Its sooooo good!

has been refreshing. Nothing spectacular, but I needed it. I need to learn how to pace myself. How not to be so anxious and apprehensive. And how to manage my time better. During break, I have 2 six-page papers, and an exam on the monday that I return. I am so overwhelmed.



Ughhhh.
Recording all day on Saturday.
Everything should be done by the end of this month.
This is the only thing that I've been looking forward to.
That and Resident Evil 5 tomorrow. Mmmmmmmmm.
Perfect.